the family we wanted (but couldn't keep)
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: In the end, all Tom wanted was someone to protect, someone who cared about him. All Harry ever wanted was a family. But life is never that easy.


**Quidditch League Season 6: Caerphilly Catapults**

 **Round 3: [Beater 2] Love Is All Round – Wet Wet Wet**

 **Prompts:**

 **\- (genre) Family**

 **\- (word) horror**

 **\- (emotion) fear**

* * *

...oOo...

Riddle Manor had become decrepit in the absence of owners: a haunted house that nurtured wilderness and horror stories, and Tom didn't think there was a better place to lie low. The fireplace still worked, and any smoke could be vanished with a simple enchantment on the chimney. The exterior deterred any Muggles from visiting even without the standard wards that most magical properties swathe themselves in.

At age twenty, Tom Riddle found himself a hideout that he used in years to come. The Death Eaters knew nothing of it, and Dumbledore didn't even consider the Manor a possible place for him to stay.

So when he spotted Harry Potter, aged ten and looking as if he'd soon fall into an early grave, Riddle Manor was where he cared for the boy. Appalled by Harry's lack of magical knowledge, and curious flinch at the word 'magic', Riddle Manor was also where Tom taught Harry the basics of magical theory, and whatever Muggle education he still remembered from what felt like forever ago.

Every time Harry grinned at finally understanding a cryptic concept, Tom felt his own smile grow to match Harry's. A little ruffle of Harry's hair now and again, soon became a greeting, and a reassuring gesture when Harry's stomach rumbled after a meal.

The Fidelius Charm only came after Harry had left for Hogwarts the first time, because Harry needed to be safe from the Death Eaters; and they needed to be safe from Dumbledore's meddling. Designing and placing the enchantment was the only thing that kept Tom's frayed nerves from having him to go Hogwarts himself to make sure Dumbledore wasn't poisoning Harry's mind against him.

Because Tom could get the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, but he would have to leave after a year, or Dumbledore would begin to suspect him. That precious year would have to be a year Harry needed him the most.

So when Harry owled Tom about the Philosopher's Stone, Tom told him to keep his head down and concentrate on studying; that Harry needed to think about his own safety, and not the problems of adults. He also made sure to include an additional book for Harry to read, just to make sure Harry was too occupied to go searching for Dumbledore's test.

Tom had almost seen Harry rolling his eyes even as he etched his reply, but hoped Harry listened anyway, because he _certainly_ didn't have any plans to go after the fabled stone.

* * *

...oOo...

"Dumbledore said I have to go back to the Dursleys. That I'm putting you in danger by not going back."

"Do _you_ want to go back to... _them_?"

"No!"

"I would rather you didn't go back either. I'll take care of you. If you'd like that?"

* * *

...oOo...

Tom supposed it really was his fault when he heard that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened again. His Death Eaters would have been growing anxious in his absence, wanting to fill the void of death and destruction they had carved into their souls during the last war.

But war was war, and people who lived for war had no place within a peaceful world.

When Tom visited Lucius Malfoy in Malfoy Manor after Harry had returned to Hogwarts after Yule, he made sure to show Lucius exactly what he thought of where his Diary was. He was sure the wizard hadn't even considered the danger he was putting his own son and heir in, not to mention the loss of magical blood – because Hogwarts had magical standards for admission.

Lucius' expression of horror didn't ease Tom's own building panic at the fact that _Harry was at Hogwarts with a basilisk on the loose_. There was no way of finding out exactly who the Diary was possessing, especially not without being in Hogwarts himself.

Not for the first time, Tom cursed how utterly blind Dumbledore could be. Had the entire thing not been Lucius' foolish thinking, he would have believed it to be another one of Dumbledore's great many tests.

 _Dear Tom,_

 _The Slytherin monster is some kind of giant snake, isn't it? I mean, since Slytherin spoke Parseltongue and everything. I can hear the whispers in the walls. I could probably stop it, but I don't know how! It would hardly be a 'monster' if it was the size of a garden snake!_

 _Harry_

Tom wasn't sure who to curse, but _someone_ was going to be tortured, because Harry was going to find the damned basilisk no matter what Tom said. He was temped to return to Malfoy Manor and give Lucius another piece of his mind.

He thought he could see exactly how Harry would kill him in the end: through worry and fear, neither of which he wanted to experience ever again.

The only thing Tom could do was send Harry another book, and include a spell that very closely repeated the sound of a roster's crow, and pray that Harry didn't do something _too_ reckless for words. Even so, Tom considered all the possible strategies he could think of that resulted in Harry actually getting out of the altercation in one piece.

* * *

...oOo...

"Are you trying to get yourself killed, Harry?"

"I'm still in one piece, see? Everything worked out fine in the end. I even managed to save Ginny!"

"That's besides the point. You put yourself in needless danger. You're still only a twelve-year old boy. Saving people shouldn't be your responsibility."

"But I was the only person who could hear the Basilisk. No one else could have done anything without Parseltongue!"

"Harry..."

"No! I don't want to hear it! Why don't you understand? I was the only one who could do anything!"

* * *

...oOo...

Harry had left with a chip on his shoulder that year, and Tom hadn't any idea how to fix it. Even with Sirus Black escaping from Azkaban, there was no information from Harry – all Tom's mail returned unopened. Tom forced himself to focus on his Death Eaters and the future war – the one he wanted to be covert instead of dragging children, like Harry, into it.

The war had nothing to do with any of the Hogwarts students, especially not while they were still at Hogwarts.

Tom followed the happenings in Hogwarts through the almost entirely unreliable Daily Prophet. He read about Sirius Black breaking into Gryffindor Tower, and the werewolf DADA teacher, but heard not a squeak from Harry himself.

It was in one of those long nights where Tom scribbled yet another letter that would never be read and stared into the flames, that an all encompassing rage took over him. His mind reminded him of all the people who had chosen to abandon him, including the previous residents of that very Manor, and told him that _Harry would do that too._ Tom's magic sparkled and burned everything it could reach, leaving him to wake in the ruins of a sitting room with scorched walls.

For the first time, Tom was glad for the silence between him and Harry. Harry would be staying at Hogwarts for Yule, and he didn't need to see this monster that lurked beneath his skin. Tom had believed the anger and pain and fear had been destroyed with his previous body.

He had been wrong. Now, he didn't think the insanity was ever going away. It would stay and endanger Harry, if he ever came back. It was probably for the better that Harry stayed away.

Harry didn't return at the end of his Third Year, nor at the end of his Fourth Year – even as Tom was pleased to notice that Harry hadn't managed to get his name into the Goblet of Fire _somehow_.

But the bouts of rage and paranoia grew more frequent, and there was no way for Tom to ensure that _Voldemort_ wouldn't eventually lash out on Harry again. Tom didn't remember what Voldemort did any more, and all his efforts and planning seemed to have gone to waste the morning after he woke up.

By what Tom assumed was Harry's Fifth Year, he was barely awake for an hour a day, and he didn't recognise the crimson eyes that stared back at him in the mirror. Tom wished he could warn someone – anyone would do at this point, even Dumbledore – but he didn't know enough to prepare them for anything that happened next.

Tom was sure Harry had forgotten him anyway. He didn't think that writing a warning to Harry would be much use either, especially with their last argument still clear in his memory.

* * *

..oOo...

"Harry Potter. We meet again."

" _Voldemort_."

"Step aside, boy, and you'll be spared. They're all trembling behind you already. I doubt they're even able to raise a wand any more."

"They are my friends, and I care about them. If I'm the only one who can protect them, I will, and not even your Death Eaters will-! Tom?"

"Harry? What-?"

"Die, itty bitty Potter-baby! You will not be a thorn on my Lord's side any longer!"

"Tom? Weren't you just-? You're-you're hurt! I can-I can save you! _Episkey. Episkey! EPISKEY!_ "

"You can't save me, Harry. It's already too late for that. It's better this way. Voldemort will go with me."

"Tom, no! I'm sorry! I should have written before. I should have apologised when I realised you were just trying to protect me. I wanted to! I _tried_ \- I'm sorry!"

"If it's the last thing I could do for you, it's worth it."


End file.
